Why should I care about the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator?

What is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator?

MBTI, or the Myers-Briggs Type indicator is one of the most popular personality tests in the world today.

The underlying theories were generated by the well known father of analytical psychology, Carl Jung. However, the test was created by Katherine Myers-Briggs and her daughter who took Jung’s theories and developed it into something that anyone can understand and benefit from.

Despite its popularity, it has received a lot of mixed reviews over the years. Some people swear by its accuracy and effectiveness, while others doubt its credibility entirely.

The following are some of the practical uses of MBTI in your personal life:

  • To better understand yourself and those close to you.
  • To help find a career path suitable to your needs and preferences.
  • To better communicate with various types of people.

So…should I care or not?

Well the answer to that question depends on you, and only you. For some, MBTI could be the magical solution that changes your life for the better. For others, it could just complicate things and be a complete waste of time.

I say give the test a try and if it’s helpful then it’s helpful, if not the move on. There is really no harm in trying in my opinion.

My personal experience with MBTI

Note: There will be bias in my words because of how life changing the test was for me personally, but ultimately you should come to your own conclusion about the test.

Personally, my experience with MBTI was life changing. Discovering MBTI completely changed my life for the better and it is a big part of the reason why this blog exists today!

My personality type is INFJ and it is the rarest type that approximately only 1-2% of the world shares. To read more about the INFJ personality type you can check out this article that I wrote a little while back.

It hasn’t even been a full year since I discovered MBTI and figured out my personality type. It was around November last year that I made the discovery and the experience was so significant that a whole lotta tears flowed. Finally everything started to click and my life started to make sense after so many years. Honestly, it was the most relief I had ever felt in my entire life.

The reason why it was so significant was because I always had really bad anxiety issues that I was unable to pinpoint. I felt lost for the majority of my life and couldn’t find a solution to the problem. I was comparing myself too much to other people and it made me a very insecure person. I was always trying to ‘fix’ myself so that I could be like everyone else.

Discovering MBTI let me know that there was nothing wrong with me and that I should be proud to be who I am. It let me know that I am not alone and that there are other people out there who experience the same issues. Since making the discovery I have been a lot better at managing my anxiety and I am gaining more confidence in myself every day (though I still have a long way to go).

So for me MBTI is an indispensable tool. It is a tool that I use to further understand myself as well as those close to me. I honestly don’t know where I would be without it at this point..probably still lost, confused, and anxious..


If you are interested in finding out your personality type then you can take a free test here: https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test

If you would like, feel free to post your personality type in a comment below or share your own thoughts about MBTI.  Has the test helped you in a significant way?

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So I met this girl (part 3)

 

Wow…so much has happened in such a short amount of time. I’m going to change my writing style from the previous ‘so I met this girl’ posts because I learned that some things are not meant to be shared.

Okay so I personally believe that Valentine is definitely my twin flame. I honestly have no doubt in my mind at this point, however, I really misunderstood the definition of a twin flame at the time and jumped to way too many conclusions. Being a twin flame does not automatically mean being lovers in a romantic relationship.

I have learned so many things in such a short amount of time; it’s honestly mind blowing. From the few interactions that I had with her recently it was almost like time sped up and I learned lessons that may have taken me years to figure out otherwise. I realized that I still have so much growing to do and that I shouldn’t get too ahead of myself too fast. And I think she realized a lot about herself too from our interactions.

I was really excited in the beginning because I thought that this was fate, and I was certain that we were meant to be together. However, I missed a big portion of the story. I cannot just jump from the beginning to the conclusion when it comes to dealing with this sort of thing. I need to learn how to enjoy the ride, including all of the uncertainty that comes with dealing with this type of thing.

A big lesson that I learned was not to state your feelings too fast. This is actually a common INFJ problem because we always come to conclusions so fast. We love hard, and we love fast, but not everyone works that way and I understand that now.

We love to jump straight to the conclusion and forget to enjoy the spontaneity and excitement when it comes to dealing with this type of thing.  I shouldn’t just assume someone has feelings for me just because my intuition says so, it doesn’t work like that. And I certainly should not say such a thing and post about it in a blog I think lol, especially when I don’t know for sure if it’s true or not.

Another lesson that I learned is that not everything needs to be shown to the world. I don’t know how this is gonna work out in the end but I think I’ll leave the conclusion out of my blog for the most part. I think it’s best that way.

The twin flame relationship is definitely one of a kind. If I had to describe it in one word then I would say ‘Intense’ because this is nothing like I have ever experienced. I might end up making a post explaining the ‘twin flame’ sometime in the future.

 

A serious message to INFJs

Do not let your INFJ label take you over. It can stop you from taking risks in life because you think you are suppose to act a certain way. You may think that you cannot do something just because you are an INFJ. It’s okay to learn from it and use it to understand yourself, however, once it starts holding you back you need to ditch the label and start looking within. Stop comparing yourself to other people, other INFJs in particular. Just because one INFJ is unable to do something, doesn’t mean that another INFJ is unable to as well. For any personality types for that matter. We are all individuals and our personality type or astrology sign or anything like that does not define us. They are only tools to help us understand ourselves.

Remember that at the end of the day there are no two individuals that are exactly alike. We are all at least capable of attempting whatever we want in this life because we are all human. We cannot be afraid of failure and we have to take risks. If you don’t even try then you’ll never know, no matter how well you may try to predict the future. It’s time to live in the present and start taking action here and now. A dream is truly only a dream if it stays in your head. It will remain a dream until you take action and start manifesting it in real life. Take. Action. Now.

So yes, you can become a stand up comedian. Yes, you can give a speech in front of millions of people. Sure, doing some of those things may be harder for certain personality types than it is for others. For INFJs in particular, it can be hell when it comes to breaking out of your comfort zone. The rewards however for doing so can be very great, especially for INFJs. These people have so much to offer to the world and it’s all just waiting, sitting there stagnant, right there inside of you while you procrastinate and complain. Soon enough, you start to get too comfortable and convince yourself that you are better off not taking risks. That comfort zone is so dangerous for INFJs because we can be so sure of ourselves sometimes. INFJs can literally convince themselves wholeheartedly to believe that something like staying in your comfort zone is the only way to live. They do all of this subconsciously too and may not even notice they are doing it. You may give up on love because you think no one will understand you, so you subconsciously convince yourself that you don’t need love. If you give up then nothing will change and you’ll just remain bitter and lonely. If communication and understanding is the issue, then you have to get so good at communicating that the other person will get you. You think people wont understand you but have you really tried? More than once? Like really? You can’t let fear of failure or being misunderstood stop you from trying.

Just sharing a bit of what I learned recently, the hard way.

The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Cope in the Busy World of Today

Human beings are empathetic creatures by nature, we can all to at least some degree understand what another person is going through, even if it’s just a little bit. Some people can go as far as feeling what the other person feels. The highly sensitive individual is a special case. This is when the ability to feel becomes so intense that it can potentially become too much to handle.

A few things that can potentially be harmful for Highly Sensitive Individuals:

  • Too many sudden changes in the physical environment
  • Too much negative energy from the surrounding people
  • Loud noises, bright lights, and crowded places with many people

If the environment is simply too much for a highly sensitive person to handle then it can even manifest into physical ailments and sicknesses.

So what can these people do to cope with such a trait?

Being a highly sensitive individual in the world of today is not an easy task… but it is more than possible to cope. It does not need to be seen in a negative light either. The key is simply to understand yourself and your limits.

For adults it is a lot easier because you have freedom to live how you choose. If you don’t want to work in a busy environment filled with tons of people talking at the top of their lungs every second of the day then you don’t have to.

For children however, it is a whole different story because children cannot just do whatever they want. Highly sensitive children are at the mercy of their parent/guardian. They have to go to school and they are expected to deal with the same conditions that everyone else deals with. And they will not receive special treatment unless they have a disability that the school finds legitimate.

Public school for highly sensitive children can potentially be hell depending on the environment. These children cannot choose when they feel, they unconsciously absorb the emotions of the people around them, all the time. Their energy levels and their ability to focus can severely plummet if the environment does not suit the child. This is why public school can severely hamper a child’s ability to focus and succeed academically. A peaceful and organized environment is best suited for these individuals.

A few things that can happen when a Highly Sensitive Person feels overwhelmed:

  • Severe energy depletion
  • Anxiety and confusion
  • Inability to focus and brain fog

It is not easy being a highly sensitive person, child or adult, but I really feel for children who may have no idea what is going on inside of them. Even worse if they think that there something is wrong with themselves. I believe that homeschooling is a more than viable option for children who suffer in the public school setting. If you have a child who you suspect to be highly sensitive then I would highly recommend considering the option.


Extra comments:

I myself am a highly sensitive person with the INFJ personality type and still have issues regarding negative/crowded environments. As a child it 10 times worse because I had no idea what was going on and neither did my parents. It didn’t get very much easier as I got older either. In fact I think it was the worst in high school where the environment I was in was much too rowdy and loud for me to function. And I had no choice but to deal with it and tough it through.

I think this is why I feel so passionate about the subject. I know for sure if someday my child were to show signs of being highly sensitive then I would make sure that my child feels comfortable. If my child is complaining about school and is not performing well then I will consider home school or private school in a heartbeat.

I truly wonder what it would have been like if I had been given the option to be home schooled. I could have studied in a peaceful environment without having to worry all the time. I may have actually enjoyed school if I wasn’t forced to be around such negative/loud influences all the time when I was trying to learn. I mean, I guess I learned some valuable lessons by toughing it out through public school… but still, I feel like it shouldn’t have been as terrible as it was.

A black male growing up with the INFJ personality type, how the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator changed my life

Depth Psychology/MBTI were the first of my discoveries, and I continue to learn more and more about myself all the time thanks to these studies. INFJ is my personality type, it is the rarest in the world. It consists of only 1.5% of the world’s population. 1% are female, male is .5%.

So I am a straight black male with the personality type of a highly sensitive introvert. And the INFJ personality type has a lot of qualities that most people would find feminine. In fact, it is so bad that when most people think of INFJs all they can picture is the woman of their dreams. It’s probably true though, I think the INFJ personality type has many characteristics that a lot of men would find attractive. It is even a joke around the internet that INFJ men don’t exist. And it’s pretty true, there is a pretty slim chance that you are gonna run into one and randomly become friends.

Anyway, I had a lot of trouble expressing myself and remaining true to myself as a child. Everyone around me was acting a certain way and I felt like I needed to blend in. If I didn’t then I would garner so much attention to myself I thought, and that was the one thing I wanted to avoid the most. I grew up around people who felt like they needed to act tough, and basically a bunch of people that were doing exactly what everyone else was doing. All I did my whole life was copy the people around me to get by. When I was alone the things I would think, and the way I would act would be much different then when I was around other people. When I was around people who I felt comfortable with like very close friends or family, I also showed a lot of my true self.

My older brother was the person who I copied the most. Copying his ENFP conversational style and mannerisms got me through school. Because although he is an Extravert, he is a little shy and anxious, at least he was when he was younger. So I would watch the way he would dodge questions and avoid confrontation from his peers. Like I mentioned earlier, the people around me and the neighborhood I grew up in was a place where everyone wanted to act tough. They wanted to start fights for no reason and pick on people just because they wore a t shirt that looks weird.. So if you were trying to avoid that you either had to retaliate or avoid it by being clever. My brother was the king of avoiding conflict (LOL, for real). I was so impressed that I copied him, and I still use a lot of his techniques. I think I may have taken them to the next level though to be honest.

Everyone would ask me why I was so quiet all the time and it annoyed me to death because I had no idea. I would always just say “I dunno”, that was my favorite phrase lol. I would use the same tone every time too, like a kind of annoyed tone but not enough to piss the other person off.

“I don’t know why I am so quiet, why are you so damn loud!? Don’t ask me!” I would think to myself. Okay it was probably more like,

“Holy shit why do you keep asking me the same damn question every single day!? I don’t fucking know… don’t talk to me”,

Yes, it got to that level of annoyance, but I did my best to blend in and keep calm. I would say that I was pretty damn good at blending in though, I might secretly be a really good actor.

The quiet thing was unavoidable and I always ran out of energy so fast. There was just too much going on around me. Too many things I needed to avoid, too many things I had to worry about. At home I had my alcoholic mother and financial issues to worry about, at school I had to act and I had to avoid all of the time. I would sleep in class every single day, especially in high school. I was too tired and I was not trying to listen to some boring ass teacher all day. I never caused trouble in class and I was always quiet. I never raised my hand and I tried to stay awake when I could. At first, teachers would tell me to wake up. But at some point I think maybe the teachers just understood? Because I kept doing it and most of them just stopped bothering me, I mean I usually passed anyway, sometimes barely. I hated school. I had friends that I enjoyed hanging out with, but the whole idea of school killed me inside. Nothing interested me, and I rushed through everything. Speeches, presentation, and group projects made me want to die, literally. I would always stutter when I did presentations, then I would stop talking. It always pissed me off that I was forced to do them to pass. Lunch was the best part because I actually had freedom. If I wanted to take a nap then I could take a nap, if I wanted to talk to my friends then I could.

I had my conflicts at times but I was very good getting on the good side of people. I was in 1 fight in high school, it didn’t escalate to fist fight level but it felt pretty intense to me, lots of yelling and pushing. He kicked me too LOL, and over the dumbest reason, I’m not even gonna say. Oh, and he called me a Nigger, like really? It could have only been out of pure rage because that had nothing to do with why we were fighting. I never hit him back, I only pushed him and looked angry, a crowd started to gather and it made me self conscious so I walked away. About a week later he apologized to me and we made up. I still talked to him after that and acted nice, who knows how I truly felt inside though, I don’t remember.

I’d say it was pretty amazing that I was only in one fight the entire time despite how ghetto my high school was. Blacks vs Mexicans was the thing. There would be gang fights at lunch and a whole lot other shady shit going down. One time this chick had a baby in the bathroom next to my class and the ambulance came and everything, shit was crazy. I stayed out of all of that. I found my refuge with the gamers and the band geeks, they were much more peaceful. Oh yea, I also played the alto saxophone in middle school and high school. That was actually the only class that I legitimately enjoyed. I was even in marching band for a year in high school, and was in wind ensemble all four years in high school.

When I got to college I started to learn about freedom. If I didn’t want to go to class I didn’t have to go to class, I’m paying for it anyway. Same with homework. So you have freedom when it comes to getting work done and you have freedom when it comes to who you choose to hang around. The environment is much more peaceful than high school for sure, and people are a lot more understanding. I discovered myself in college. It was a gradual process, but from freshman year to my now senior year (one more semester and I’m done!!), I seem to be a completely different person. I think I just gradually got more comfortable being myself and remaining independent.

The biggest breakthrough in my life was when I discovered that my personality type was INFJ. It was about 8-9 months ago, yes, that recent. At that moment everything in my life started to make sense. It was crazy, like a surge of thoughts rushed through my head, and connections from the past were made and understood all at once. I cried, mainly because It killed me that I couldn’t understand why I was so anxious, shy, quiet, and tired all the time and everyone else wasn’t. At some point I literally thought I had a mental disorder or something. Speaking was something that made me anxious. I could never speak for more than 10 or 15 seconds or my anxiety would kick in. There were too many eyes on me and it made me feel extremely uncomfortable. I would get the feeling that I was about to cry if I was forced to speak for longer than that, which is why presentations in high school/middle school killed me, everyone is so judgmental at that age. In normal conversion I always kept my words short. And I still do. I truly am a man of few words for people who know me personally. I can speak up when I need to, but I generally keep to myself most of the time. I observe and listen to everyone else speak, then I chime in with my 2 cents.

Now I could finally answer the people from high school who asked me why I am so quiet. “Because I’m a fucking INFJ, my default mode of living is in my head”  !!!

The fact that there are other people in the world like me made me feel not crazy. Making that discovery told me that it is normal to be myself. It doesn’t matter how the people around me are acting, I can do whatever I want and it doesn’t matter what they think. I was not able to realize that and truly believe it until that very moment. It pissed me off that it took me so long to figure this out because god knows I tried to “fix” myself because I thought there was something wrong with me. I would fixate on little faults in myself. Physically, mentally, everything. I went from thinking that changing my hair style would give me more confidence and cure my shyness, to researching if what I was feeling was part of a mental disorder. I fixated on many, many things. I was so critical of myself and any little flaw I could point out I did. I would think so negatively and I think it reflected in how I presented myself.

Fast forward to now. I have learned so much about myself and I feel like I am comfortable with who I am. I also think I reflect that image now. It took a long time but I have come a long way. The push from the INFJ discovery propelled me to this stage. I have also become a lot more tolerant of the people around me now that I understand why they do the things they do. I want to continue to express myself because although I feel more comfortable, there is a lot that I have yet to show the world. Whether the world will accept that part of me I don’t know, but I am determined to get to the point where I don’t even care. I know what I need to do and it is only a matter of time before I reach the level that I have imagined for so long. People who look at me in person often judge me by the way I dress, as a result I often feel very misunderstood. A big thing that I want to accomplish in my life is to show the world not to judge a book by it’s cover, and to pay attention to things that you cannot see with human eyes. I want people to look much deeper into things before they judge people, as I know I am not the only one in this world who feels misunderstood.

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