Love uncertain

I don’t know if you are reading this or if you heard my song,

it’s been so very long but I’m going to remain strong.

Love uncertain is a pain that lingers and stings,

but if you are my twin then we shall both sprout wings.

Wings that can overcome and fly…far up into the sky,

I’ll always hold a place for you and there is no reason to lie.

love uncertain,

please just open the curtain,

let me know so I don’t have to be hurtin,

I’ll always hold a place for the bond is beyond the physical,

I wonder what you feel and if you too experience the divine and mystical.

 

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June – the month of 6 + the 6 vibration

It’s June! The month of 6 is here and the month of 5 is done. So was it only me or was the previous month pretty crazy? May was all about change, and the focus of the current month is on the growth and nurturing of your loved ones. However, try not to neglect your own personal growth and needs too!

June is the perfect month to focus on those around you and take a good look at what you value in your relationships. During this month it would be wise to strengthen and solidify your relationships with your family, friends, spouse, co-workers, etc.. Also, you may want to at least attempt to smooth over any conflict or ill feelings towards those that you care about and value. This is not a time for egos and stubborn tendencies, it is a time for love and understanding.

Be careful not to waste your time on toxic relationships and people who drain or take advantage of you. If your relationships seem one sided or unbalanced then you need to take a good look and figure out if it’s truly worth all the effort.

Here are a few things that you may want to do during the month of 6:

  • Fix/strengthen personal relationships.
  • Beautify and decorate your home.
  • Give someone a helping hand, or advice.
  • Ask for help (do not be afraid, the time is opportune!)

The 6 vibration

6

Those who bear the number 6 are often nurturing and caring by nature. This number is all about harmony, peace, and responsibility. These people are motivated to do what is right for their loved ones, and they will often go to the ends of the earth if it means keeping their loved ones together. Their capacity to love runs deep and they do not take their relationships lightly.

The 6 vibration is very idealistic and seeks to help others. As a result, those who bear the number have a tendency to be drawn into unbalanced relationships. They are highly susceptible to being taking advantage of because of their trusting nature. These people have a goal in life to stay true to themselves and their service oriented nature, and at the same time stay clear of deception and toxic relationships.

As always, the negative vibrations of the number can take over the bearer if not careful. These people can become egotistical, jealous and hateful at times. This may be especially prevalent when they do something out of the kindness of their heart and the favor is not reciprocated or appreciated. They can also have a tendency to over idealize others and put them on a pedestal.

These people hold high standards for themselves and take their responsibilities very seriously. Hard work does not scare them and this is especially true when they have their loved ones in mind. As long as those who bear the number 6 stay aware of who is actually true to them and who is taking advantage of them, these people can use their natural talents to spread kindness and positivity to all who are fortunate enough to know them.

The Fourth Sign of the Zodiac – Cancer – June 21 – July 22

cancssss

The Fourth Sign of the Zodiac – Cancer – June 21 – July 22

Ruler: Moon  Color: Violet  Symbol: The Crab  Element: Water Quality: Cardinal

The natural homebodies of the zodiac. Their emotions seem to carry them like the ocean tide, and their contradicting personality can confuse even their closest loved ones.

Cancers go through many phases during their lifetime. Their path through life is slow and steady, and more often than not, the first phase of their life is pretty rocky. The swarm of emotions going on inside them and their keen sensitivity does not help in this regard. Cancers need to feel appreciated by the people around them. If not, then their emotions can overwhelm them and their imagination can turn dark and pessimistic.

These people may seem confident and in control on the outside due to their hard shell like exterior, but there is likely a hidden intergalactic war going on inside of them at the same time. Career wise, their active imagination and emotional depth can draw them to the arts and they often do well as musicians, writers, or artists. They have a strong need to feel safe and secure in life, finances included. Long term careers where they can utilize their powerful nurturing skills are also highly desired by these people, nursing for example.

Being at home is the bees knees to them and close friends, family, and loved ones only add to the joy. Cancers are naturally nurturing and generous to those around them, and those who gain their trust will likely get an extra helping of that generosity. However, it can be tough to get into a cancer’s inner circle of love when their shells are often so hard. They do not take rejection or disappointment well because of their sensitivity, and they take their time when it comes to making long term commitments.

In relationships they are usually loving, gentle, and caring. They want to be with someone who truly understands them on a deep level, perhaps even on a non-verbal level. They don’t want to always have to explain themselves, as they have a tough of enough time sorting out their own emotions as it is. They can sometimes become codependent or clingy to their partner, and they might also be the most likely to stay in a toxic relationship out of all of the zodiac signs (so be careful !!).


Did you know that your zodiac sign is only scratching the surface of your true personality? Have you seen your astrological birth chart before?

The 9 Vibration

Universal peace and love for all, the number 9 is the number of the Lightworker.

Born on this earth with a mission to serve, these people are always happy to lend a hand, and they often do so without motive. They are naturally optimistic and find it easier than others to bounce back from setbacks and disappointments. To some, they may give off the appearance of being larger than life.

This vibration will often test the bearer with trials and tribulations. It is not rare for a 9 to go through the lowest of the low in terms of living –  both real world and spiritual knowledge will reach a level of great wisdom during their lifetime. It is up to the bearer to use that knowledge and spread it to the world.

To spread their own vision to the world, with love, shooting arrows of enlightenment and peace, indiscriminately to all.

Altruistic to the core, they are at risk of becoming a doormat for others to step on. The optimal scenario for 9’s is to help others while not letting people step all over them. Do not mistake the previous doormat example for weakness because there is an unmistakable fiery spirit that accompanies a 9.

spirittttttaaaPeople with 9’s in their lives may have to deal with a quick temper and a tendency to lash out on others. They are often guilty of tuning out the opinions of those around them as well.

At times these people may withdraw from the world without a moment’s notice, but do not be alarmed, they are probably just trying to sort out their feelings and get more in tune with themselves. The true power of the 9 vibration may be hidden to those who only look on the surface. Those who judge too quickly may not be aware of the great depths of feeling and compassion within the bearers of the number 9.

This vibration tells the bearer to look within to reach a higher level of consciousness. These people are usually very wise and spiritual. They can be so in tune with themselves that they give off the appearance of being self-centered or selfish at times. It is believed that 9’s posses the ability to heal, whether it be through the touch of a hand, or art form.

Most people who bear the number 9 will naturally end up working in a field that benefits humanity. In fact, those that do will find that the reward will come in the choice itself. Creativity is also an attribute that bearer’s of the number 9 possess. Similar to the 3 vibration, those who bear the number 9 will have a strong attraction to the arts.


—–>  Do you know your numbers?  <—–

Although many say that 3 is the luckiest number, others argue that title belongs to the number 9 which represents completion. The number 9 contains 3 number 3’s  ~ 3 + 3 + 3 = 9. It also combines all of the previous numbers, becoming a beacon for perfection and divinity.

So I met this girl (part 2)

This doesn’t make sense unless you read part 1 of the story here


So yea I asked her out. Valentine.

The only girl that I ever straight up asked out in my entire life.

It was awkward…oh god.

So we had been texting for a while right. I however doubted myself and lacked the confidence to make the big leap for a long time. We would text almost everyday for about a month or so, but then it suddenly stopped. I think I just convinced myself that it wasn’t worth the risk, despite having such strong feelings for her, so I just gave up.

About 3 months later I text her out of the blue. It was a few days before valentines day, maybe that’s what inspired me at the time. I told her I wanted her advice about a girl I liked. We met up in front of the library at school when no one was around.

I couldn’t even look at her. I actually had to face sideways while confessing to her. I was just too scared. But I did it…I ended up telling her my feelings that day. That I always had a crush on her…

Deep down I knew that she was going to reject me. I did not expect much but still, it hurt. I built up the courage and got rejected after all that. I never held it against her.

At the time I was not in a very good place overall. I was antisocial, shy, anxious, depressed, confused, just about everything you could think of. Of course my confidence was very low too, seeing as I couldn’t even look at the girl.

Fast forward to late 2016.

On November 16, 2016 I discovered that my personality type was INFJ. It blew my mind. Everything made sense. I felt like I was searching for something my entire life…an answer. I honestly felt just too awkward and anxious, ALL THE TIME. And I would always be so tired.

This moment was the most relief I had ever felt in my entire life.

Finally I understood what was going on and finally I can explain to others what was going on as well. In the past I tried everything to “fix” this problem of mine. Drugs, alcohol, diet, working out. They all helped…but only temporarily.

A few months prior I went to the doctor and got prescribed Zoloft, an anti-depressant that was suppose to lessen my anxiety. I honestly would have done anything to feel “normal” at the time so I gave it shot. I stopped taking them only a few weeks ago…

So yea, Valentine. When I found out I was the INFJ personality type I instantly shared an
article to Facebook from Introvert Dear about 10 Type Secrets of the INFJ.

Unexpectedly, Valentine commented on my post saying that she was an INFP. I replied that I vibe with INFPs.

The next month I ran into her at a random Halloween party. She was wearing a costume that looked like a black female singer from the 70’s. She was wearing an afro wig that was actually pretty awesome and I complemented her on it. I was kind of hitting on her a bit but not really. Just like in the past we kept meeting eyes though, like really obviously.

Fast forward to 2017.

In January I randomly had the urge to throw a party. I was going to do it in my apartment with my roommates but It ended up happening at the place of another friend of mine.

Valentine showed up! OMG. Like why the hell is she always everywhere lol.

Anyway, it was so different. Likely because I gained so much confidence and clarity since she last saw me. I was still confused about a lot of things though. Like what to do after college and what I wanted to do with my life.

She hugged me when she saw me which was very rare and unexpected. Then we started talking a bit and we ended up discussing INFPs and INFJs. She was surprised that I knew so much about each personality type despite only learning about it a few months prior.

The whole night the eye locking intensified. Like it was beyond obvious and the mutual attraction was there. Nothing happened that night but she ended up driving me home
after the party. I kept insisting that we talk more and she agreed. She said she would message me soon.

The next day she sent me a message. She sent me a numerology test from CafeAstrology. The same one I put on all of my number posts haha.

At the time I had been intensely self studying Depth Psychology and MBTI. I knew a lot about every single type. I would teach all of my friends spontaneously too. I would even message friends I hadn’t talk to in ages and tell them to take the personality test online. A lot of them did and it made me so happy. I was also into Astrology as well, but I didn’t get into the real stuff in till just recently.

I took the test and it amazed me. The numbers resonated with me and I was hooked…I showed her my numbers and she showed me hers. She had lots of 9s.

Her reply:

fb

Fast forward to now. April 12, 2017.

After that we kept talking through Facebook, never meeting in person.  On March 3rd when I discovered the whole lucky number thing, the 3333333s(Read part 1) I messaged her about it.

done

She ignored what I said and changed the subject. We kept talking through Facebook but I was dying to talk to her about all of this stuff in person. Eventually after sending multiple essays back and forth to eachother, we agreed to grab a bite to eat and chat.

talk

She ended up canceling, and we resumed talking through fb only.

On March 5 I asked if she was free to meet up soon so we can talk.

phone bill

Then all communication stopped. She didn’t reply.

Now it pissed me off at first because she dumped all of this new information then left me on my own. I had no clue that I was so good at artistic things. I had no idea that I was suppose to create. I always knew I could do a lot of things, but I never knew what I was meant to do.

After a while I started to accept what was going on and I calmed down. I thought rationally about it and I decided to pour myself into studying Numerology. Not just Numerology, but Astrology and Depth Psychology as well.

I was determined to figure this all out and I wanted to see if Numerology was something more than what it seemed at first glance. Maybe I drowned myself in all of this knowledge in order to forget about Valentine, who knows.

Actually wait…now that I think about it, that might be why I put so much work into this blog in such a short amount of time. All of this is probably motivating me past my normal limits because I made my first blog post on March 5th, and she stopped talking to me on March 5th too. LOL

Eventually I narrowed down the reasons to why I thought she didn’t reply.

  • She is actually just really busy? I mean she is a college student…
  • She saw that I can’t pay my phone bill and doesn’t want to be with a scrub. lol
  • She knows about Venus in Retrogade. (March 4th to April 15th)

Ding ding ding. My intuition tells me it’s the third answer.

It doesn’t make sense for her to just not reply otherwise. She could at least talk to me so we can discuss all of this newfound knowledge. If she won’t even meet with me then maybe she is scared that it will lead to something more.

Love is risky during Venus in Retrogade. Things often go topsy turvy without a moment’s notice. I would also certainly expect her to be aware of this too because I already know that she is very knowledgeable about all of this stuff. She knew a lot about all 3 (Astrology, Numerology, and Depth Psychology), before I even knew what this stuff was. Plus she introduced me to Numerology in the first place, which is the reason this blog even exists O_O

I’m going to continue to wait.

I will wait until after April 15th before I message her again. It’s gonna be so funny if I’m actually right about the retrogade thing. If not then oh well lol. At least we can finally discuss Numerology and stuff.

She does not know that I made this blog. In fact, no one does. I have not told my friends or family about any of this. Not yet at least…

Stay tuned for part 3!!! I wonder how this is gonna turn out…so exciting!